Things to tell your 15 year old past-self.

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I wish I could have told my 15 year old self:

You are beautiful and funny and smart &
taking photos of yourself isn’t lame.

It’s celebrating your body, Caitlin.
So love that face and eyes and freckles and rock that hair of yours, girl.

In a few years time you’ll be doing it daily.
Never loose sight of yourself.

In a few years you will fall madly in love.
You will loved for YOU and nothing else.
He will sweep you off your feet and make your life worth ever so much.
You will never be alone. You will always be loved.

You will get engaged.
And that dream wedding that you have NEVER told anymore (because you’re an emo/tom boy)?
It will happen and you will look like a princess.
You will have babies and make people cry with your wedding dress.

Some days are harder than others. Some people are not as nice as you.
Don’t let them get you down because in a few years time they will see you in Cleo magazine.

You will become a teacher. You will finish university.
You will go further than you ever thought your education will take you.
You will graduate.

You will wear whatever your dreams allow you.
Your shoe collection will be EPIC.
You will wear red almost EVERY day.

You will get healthy and loose weight but even then it doesn’t matter.
Because you will be the happiest you can be because you are happy within yourself.

 

 

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It’s Christmas night and after a long day of laughter, food and gift giving I am sitting at my parents old computer. I’m scanning through images from my teenage years, when it was almost acceptable to take selfies and upload them to Myspace. Back then, they weren’t called selfies, and unlike in 2013, they were forms of expression for 15 year old girls. Odd faces, close-up shots of eyes and earrings: they all seemed so innocent. I can see the beginnings of my life as a “blogger” here. Photos taken on timer of my outfit, that I wanted to share with people I didn’t know. Photos of my ever changing hair, eye makeup, hair bows.

If you would have told me back then, when my hair was short and my makeup was heavy and my attitude carefree that I was positive about my body I would have given you a “look” that’s a cross between “Ermm…you’re crazy” and “who the hell are you?”. Because when you’re young and 80% of your friend count is male, looks don’t matter. For me, atleast I never dressed or applied eye liner for anyone but me: and I am glad.

As I chew on a piece of the gingerbread house I made myself, I wanted to share a list of things I wish I could have told myself almost 10 years ago.
This isn’t a list of regrets or “I wish I was confident”. Oh no. These are the things I wish I had over confirmed when I was 15 and sitting in my bedroom, wishing boys would like me.

Maybe you felt the same? Maybe your teenage daughter has the same insecurities?
Take the time to think about your teenager or your teenage experience and then think about how awesome it really was and share it with someone you care about these holidays.

 

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Braces

Why did everyone feel the need to make fun of my braces?!

I had braces as soon as I hit high school. I loved them.
I loved changing the colours, but I didn’t like the pain.
Years past my teeth aren’t perfect and one of my front teeth is longer than the other but I am glad.
I wasn’t one of those kids that worried about them, but I also didn’t capture them on film (despite how I felt).

If you are a “brace face” or are about to be ENJOY IT. Get crazy colours and have fun with it. It’s 2 years of your life for a lifetime of good dental. Embrace the metal, baby!

I wish I had: told myself to smile more in photos so that I can embarrass myself in front of my kids in the future if they ever need braces.

 

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Embrace The Pale

I wish I had: never tried to tan, loved my freckles, wore more sunscreen and made people believe that hats were cool so in summer I never got burnt.
I will: always care about my skin thanks to the beautiful woman who brought me into this world.

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Never be scared to dress how you feel

I have always been obsessed with colour and I always wanted to express that.
It was a struggle at my size, even in my teens my weight allowed for difficulty in finding outfits that fit within a budget. The cool stores never had pieces to fit me, so I fell into the “tom boy” look and layered in men’s clothing. There was a time where I felt cool and hip in a hoodie and jeans and Vans and while I still wear it today, I wish I had told my teenage self that is OK for you to show your body and share your style and that it is OKAY to wear girlie clothes and search the Internet for places that make them in your size. You never have to hide in hoodies, okay?

I wish I had: allowed my love of pin-up and retro to surface in my teens and I wish I had the confidence in my body to express that side of my passion from a younger age.

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Change your hair, not your personality.

And I did. Every week.
I was blessed with parents that allowed me to be free with my hair which resulted in multiple colours and styles.
Find yourself however you see fit: through your fashion, your passion and your hair if need be! Never shy away from the important things like being true to yourself.
You can do this at any size.
BUT never let it change who you are.
Bleech doesn’t seep BITCH into your forehead.

 

 

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Loving yourself isn’t bad.
It’s AWESOME. (and friends help!).

Tell yourself that you are awesome every day and every day will be AWESOME.
Don’t listen to anyone but those who REALLY care about you.
If they don’t listen to your dreams, or believe in your ideas they don’t care about you.
People that love you help you love yourself so find friends that make you the BEST YOU CAN BE.

I wish I had: made stronger connections to those around me in order to fully understand the connection between people & how important it can be in developing your OWN self appreciation.

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Boys SUCK.
And girls aren’t better either.

I always wondered why boys didn’t like me and I know why now.
When you don’t like or know who you are, how can someone like you in return?

I was lost when it came to the dating game because I worried that people wouldn’t like me based on my size.
How wrong I was!
It was when I was ready within myself and happy with who I was that I found a man that LOVES and CHERISHES ME for the very essence of who I am.

I never had a High School boyfriend and the only relationship I had after school within my teens never worked because it was forced and unnatural.
If love hurts, or is hard then maybe it isn’t right.

Plus you are a teenager. Love video games. Or like, ponies or something. Boys suck and they smell (seriously!).

I wish I had: Ignored boys and focused on being fabulous because I never became “me” until I gave it a good old crack! It takes time, and for me, I found the man of my dreams at 23 and I am ever so thankful it took me this long because I’ve found myself along the way.

 

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Listen to your parents.

Just do it, they know everything.

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Avoid mirrors and don’t look at size tags.

Your friends don’t, so why does it matter that you are bigger or smaller than them!?

I wish I had: loved my body and never worried that I was bigger than others or listened to what others had to say about my body. Because it is mine!

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Bullies are just misguided and stupid.

They have no idea who you are.
Avoid them.
Don’t talk back because they feed on your energy like a zombie on brains.

Seek guidance from an adult and always talk about your feelings. Never let it bottle up inside.

I am so glad I: found help when I needed it and never hid anything. It was the best thing I have ever done.

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Closet Confessions


Categories: My Life

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